The Traveling Vagabond

I found this Franciscan Blessing in my journal yesterday and the words spoke right into my soul...

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, opression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out to comfort them and turn their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. And the Blessing of God who creates, redeems, and sanctifies, be upon you and all you love and pray for this day, and forevermore.

I have been home now for a couple months and to be honest the adjustment has been a little difficult. I tried to enter back into the life I lived last year, but my life now isn't the same as it was then. There have also been anxieties over making plans for the future...and let me tell you, this state of histeria was completely foreign to me...I mean usually it is my LACK of worry that concerns others (and by others I mean my mother :) I love you mom).

I was feeling stuck...and I also was getting really comfortable...I mean having my own bedroom and only having to share a bathroom with one other person instead of 19 people....how could you not get used that?! While being back in Richmond has been great (seeing old friends, and being at the church I love so much), life has been lacking something, and I realized it was purpose. Right now I am sure you're asking, "How do you fix this lack of purpose in your life?" Don't worry, I'm about to tell you....... You pack up all your belongings into your car and you go to Boston, duh. :D

So going on a long term road trip has been something I've wanted to do for a couple years now, but I never actually thought it was feasible. So when God told me to chart the map during the new year, my response was "I don't really know what you mean by that." Plus I had this internship to Russia to focus on. So it wasn't until I hit my breaking point a couple weeks ago that I decided the right next step was to go. But I did wrestle with this...I wondered whether it was a wise and responsible thing to do (see how much change this DTS has changed me!!)

But then I read some words written by my friend Josh about a conversation he had with his mentor Jon....in response to 1 Tim 4:12 "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity; show yourself as an example of those who believe." :

Jon said "youthfulness could be synonymous to foolishness, but that foolishness isn't based on wisdom but on faith. When people see your faith they are prone to think you are weird and foolish. But let them". (Josh speaking:) The fact is I felt that God was asking me to quit my job, leave my home and go overseas. That calling not only shocked me, but it shocked the adults in my life who thought it was foolish and irresponsible. But I'm in good company if people start thinking I'm foolish by the world's standards.

This was what I needed to hear in order to feel released to take yet another risky step in my life. So the plan is to get in my car and drive, listening to the Lord and being obedient to what He asks...go where He asks, pray for those He shows me, and just enjoy this amazing life that I get to live. Russia is still on the horizon, I find out next month if I have been selected for an internship in Moscow....but until then it seems as if God is allowing me to pursue the desires of my heart, which is just another reason why He is so awesome and totally worthy of all honor and glory. So get ready America!!! haha

Circus

So yesterday my parents and I took my niece, nephew, and cousins to the circus. "Every kid needs to experience the circus just once," they said. This wasn't just any circus, this circus was supposed to be EXCITING and full of ENERGY...smoke filled the room and multi-colored lights zoomed across the arena, lighting up sections of the audience. There were clowns, men on stilts, loud music, tigers, elephants, zebras, horses; sumo wreslters did graceful acrobatics, women dressed in sparkling attire twirled while suspended in the air with rope, they lit a person on fire and shot him across the room like a cannonball....it was like being in Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland. It wasn't just a show, it was a PRODUCTION. We were thrilled that the kids were getting to have this amazing experience. Can you imagine the looks on their faces as these stunts were being performed live right in front of them?! This was the kind of excitement you didn't want to miss, right?? The show had been going for only 15 minutes when my 6 year old niece crawled up into my lap, layed up against my arm, and fell asleep haha. "Wake her up, she's missing the action!" "How on earth can she be sleeping through all this noise?" But I couldn't do it; I couldn't wake her up when she was sleeping so sound and peacefully there in my arms. I actually enjoyed just getting to hold her while she rested, with all the exciting events carrying on down below. She slept through nearly the whole thing. Today's church service discussed the fact that through Jesus we have become children of God. Romans 8:16 talks about this. During worship the song How He Loves Us played, and the thought occured to me that our Father doesn't care whether we are enjoying the circus, or resting in His arms, He just wants to be with us.