I was hesitant to share some of these personal journal entries, but if even just one person will find encouragement in them then it's for something... some of the entries were from points of desperation in my life, others from times of peace and revelation.
From my journal:
10-20-2008 I am dying of thirst by the side of the fountain.
For so long I found it difficult to believe that I was worthy of love. Forgive me for the times I didn't trust you. You have been so patient with me. You have looked at my heart; you saw my tortured soul and you rescued me from darkness. You loved me even when I betrayed you and went back to my old ways. You never gave up on me. What is it that you want to break in me Lord, so that my heart is capable of love, love as you intended it to be?
10-1-2009 Why do I insist on wasting my time and effort on the things that don't fill me up?
11-2-2009 I can see the cross at the top of the hill.
12-28-2009 Your light is greater than my darkness.
12-29-2009 We have a plan that is set before us by God, no one's plan looks the exact same, which means that we can't look at others beside us and compare ourselves to them; we must look ahead to the finish line where Jesus waits, cheering us on.
1-13-2010 Your faith is not a concept, it's a conviction; and every ounce of your being must pour into that conviction.
The Lord filled them with joy by changing their attitude.
3-12-2010 How is it that I can let your beauty escape me?
Remind me of the blood you shed so that I may have peace and joy, so that I may be free.
Your sacrifice paid the price and your ressurection made me free.
You
Defeated
Death...
So Lord I ask you to defeat me, defeat my flesh, defeat my will, defeat my sin, and defeat everything inside of me that stands against you.
8-1-2010 Thank you my sweet Jesus for giving me a new life. I am no longer bound by chains for your Spirit is within me, all is forgiven and I am clean.
You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11
There's a flowing river that I sit beside I cannot leave it, for it gives me life.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
This is the time...
I am exactly who I was meant to be. There is no striving today, no need to make something out of nothing...it is in this simple place where I can hear you breathing.
I am like a bird. I am free to fly from tree to tree, smelling the flowers each keeps. I am free to build a nest, I am free. Every bird has been given its own voice. I am free to make a new melody.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Changing Lanes
So last month I left Kentucky, embarking on a long term road trip across the US, first I would be going to Boston and then I would be off to the next location. Well you may not have heard but on the second day of my road trip my car broke down in New Jersey and I left it there with an extra $250 in my hand :)
As you can imagine this changed my plans just a little bit. It didn't take long for it to become evident that God had a plan that was slightly different than what I had originally intended. Right now I am living with my friend Katie, who I met in Belize through YWAM. She lives with her parents, grandmother, and siblings, and they have adopted me into their family. Within the first week of being in New England, Katie and I were able to reconnect with one of the speakers we had at our DTS and the meeting was uplifting and encouraging. The speaker (Brenda) nvited us to share with the YWAM base students in Boston and it turned out to be a precursor of a calling that was to come.
After Katie and I met with Brenda we felt like God was setting up something bigger than anything we could have anticipated. You see, Katie has a unique gift in performing arts and when I heard her do spoken word for the first time on the topic on teenage pregnancy, I realized that my testimony tied into this incredible talent she had, since I had been in a situation going through the process of adoption. We both have a heart for people to experience God in a real, tangible way...so we started dreaming up the possibilities to share the things God has done in our lives.
For the last three weeks Katie and I have been speaking at youth retreats about Jesus' love and how to hear from God...and it has been a priviledge and a blessing. Just today we witnessed God at work in the heart's of 20 highschool girls; through tears and laughter it was evident that God was moving in big ways....and we don't want to stop there. Back when Katie and I were in the Philippines we had dreams of going to Europe, following the lead of the Holy Spirit, and putting all our faith and trust in God to lead us to people who need to be encouraged, instilled with hope, or just hear how much God loves them. So we bought one way tickets to London for June 13th and we are counting on God to provide everything necessary for our trip. I plan to keep all my loved ones updated on how this trip progresses; I feel like the journey of faith is not only meant to help build my faith but also of those who will experience it with me.
God calls us all into amazing things, regardless of geography. It is such a blessing that God gives us the chance to encounter people on a daily basis; we may not know where they come from or what they've been through, but we do know this for sure- God loves them with an everlasting love and we can be messengers of this hope.
Check out the website for Blueprint Ministries :)
www.wix.com/europemission2011/blueprint
As you can imagine this changed my plans just a little bit. It didn't take long for it to become evident that God had a plan that was slightly different than what I had originally intended. Right now I am living with my friend Katie, who I met in Belize through YWAM. She lives with her parents, grandmother, and siblings, and they have adopted me into their family. Within the first week of being in New England, Katie and I were able to reconnect with one of the speakers we had at our DTS and the meeting was uplifting and encouraging. The speaker (Brenda) nvited us to share with the YWAM base students in Boston and it turned out to be a precursor of a calling that was to come.
After Katie and I met with Brenda we felt like God was setting up something bigger than anything we could have anticipated. You see, Katie has a unique gift in performing arts and when I heard her do spoken word for the first time on the topic on teenage pregnancy, I realized that my testimony tied into this incredible talent she had, since I had been in a situation going through the process of adoption. We both have a heart for people to experience God in a real, tangible way...so we started dreaming up the possibilities to share the things God has done in our lives.
For the last three weeks Katie and I have been speaking at youth retreats about Jesus' love and how to hear from God...and it has been a priviledge and a blessing. Just today we witnessed God at work in the heart's of 20 highschool girls; through tears and laughter it was evident that God was moving in big ways....and we don't want to stop there. Back when Katie and I were in the Philippines we had dreams of going to Europe, following the lead of the Holy Spirit, and putting all our faith and trust in God to lead us to people who need to be encouraged, instilled with hope, or just hear how much God loves them. So we bought one way tickets to London for June 13th and we are counting on God to provide everything necessary for our trip. I plan to keep all my loved ones updated on how this trip progresses; I feel like the journey of faith is not only meant to help build my faith but also of those who will experience it with me.
God calls us all into amazing things, regardless of geography. It is such a blessing that God gives us the chance to encounter people on a daily basis; we may not know where they come from or what they've been through, but we do know this for sure- God loves them with an everlasting love and we can be messengers of this hope.
Check out the website for Blueprint Ministries :)
www.wix.com/europemission2011/blueprint
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